Coming Together
by OpheliaxEternal
Summary: Fred wonders about the recent events in her life and about her future with..Angel! Fred/Angel
1. Truth From a Lie

Truth from a Lie

Hi all! Angel Fred fic that I oddly had to write. This is based somewhere in season four before season five. I don't think Fred and Angel can exist in a world where Cordelia and Angel exist… so I'm setting this after Cordelia's in a coma and when Angel and the gang would have been working at Wolfram and Heart. Only instead I'm keeping them in the Hyperion to make this transition easier. So no Harmony, No Spike and basically just a few episodes after Jasmine is killed and Connor we'll say is abroad. Okay folks, on with the show.

Flashback one is the episode Souless in season four of Angel. The Second flashback is of the episode Magic Bullet in Season four.

Disclaimer: I do not own a blessed thing.

Can you tell the truth from a lie? Fred sat in the darkness of her room toying with the chain around her neck. In her mind she pictured the recent events which had spun her world around. Could anyone ever know definitively the difference between the lies and the truth? How did they know the difference? Where were these knowing people? Could Fred talk to them? She smiled in the dark in her room, lying on her back in bed, fingers twisting and re-shaping the frail chain around her neck. The same way her reality had been twisted, turned upside down.

She was rambling again, a favorite trait of hers. She closed her eyes and sighed relinquishing the chain from its place between her nimble fingers and let her mind replay the images that she found so oddly disturbing…and at the same time so incredibly satisfying.

FLASHBACK

Angelus was back, they had released them. He was demanding blood and in their desire to know information about the beast, what wouldn't they have given him?

Fred volunteered all too readily to deliver the blood to Angelus. Did she know what she was in for? This was Angel, this was her savior, and he had come for her in Pylea and taken her away. When no one else in the world had heard her cry he crossed between worlds to comfort her. He was all good in her mind… how could she think otherwise?

As Fred entered the basement of the hotel with Gunn she carried a glass of freshly warmed pig's blood in her hand. She felt the difference in the atmosphere, Angel had always made her feel safe but as Fred and Gunn descended the stairs into the basement she felt as though she was descending into Hell itself…where was her savior now? Trapped himself inside of a monster.

Winifred Burkle was not the kind of girl to run from a fight…well except in Pylea of course but that was different that was in an attempt to survive. This would work, they would get the information they needed about the Beast and then they would return Angel's soul. If Angel was trapped inside a monster than Fred would save him the way he had once saved her and then everything would be normal again. Of this Fred was truly convinced.

Fred listened as Gunn and Angel exchanged "pleasantries." Those words…those awful words coming out of Angel's mouth.

Angelus turned lusty teasing eyes on Fred and began to taunt her with his words.

"Ah, Fred. You look all fresh and sweet, but I hear you at night in your room with Gunn. The things you say. I'm lying there, listening, hands under the covers... I can't help myself. It's so... gripping."

How many times had Fred imagined Angel talking to her like this? How many dreams after Pylea did Fred have? Dreams about Angel coming into her room at night and touching her while she lay in her bed, dreams about him confessing his feelings to her, for only her; and in truth she had always wondered if Angel could her them, her and Gunn in her room. To hear those words coming out Angelus' mouth… it was too much, it was too terrible. It made her mouth fill up with bitterness and made her body twist with discontent… because it was exactly what she wanted to hear just not from Angelus.

Fred had thought Angelus would be all smoke and mirrors and lies and illusions, but he had been telling the truth about Wesley's feelings for Fred, and he hadn't been entirely wrong about her speckles of caring for Wesley if that kiss proved anything. He had certainly been telling the truth about Cordelia and Connor… but could this also be true? Did Angel really want her that way? Fred knew that sometimes she could get carried away during her times with Gunn, sometimes she would cry out and moan and tell Gunn what she liked and how she wanted it, in her shy way, could Angel have enjoyed hearing her like that? Did he…could he have fantasized about her?

END FLASHBACK

Fred's fingers which had long ago abandoned her chain lightly skittered over her collar bone. In the days of madness which ensured after Angelus' release that long ago scene in the basement had been all but forgotten. Cordelia's alliance with Connor, her evil pregnancy, the birth of previously stated evilness, the coming of Jasmine, the truth of Jasmine, mourning the loss of the feeling of total bliss and peacefulness, and finally Jasmine's death… The madness of it all was baffling; Fred's head was still spinning. Give her quadratic formulas to open inner dimensional portals any day, but world domination by a maggot ridden fleshy brainwashing Goddess? Too much.

Fred remembered running around aimlessly through the streets of Los Angeles, realizing the only way to save her friends, getting the gun, shooting Jasmine. She remembered being bent backwards over the counter, the sharp metal frame of the casing digging painfully into her spine as Angel jabbed her in the underside of her chin with the gun. She had felt so unworthy of him then, whimpering under him like a helpless pathetic dog. It was all she could do to tell him to look at Jasmine now. Look at Jasmine, another girl, another woman, another person in their lives that Angel would freely give his affections too who wasn't Fred.

FLASH BACK

Fred woke up on the cold hard ground alone; she could smell smoke and city air. Where was she? She sat up, her head aching. The first thing she saw was Angel… well she could think of worse things to wake up too.

The events of hours ago rushed back into her already pounding head and she risked talking to find her shaky her voices sounded to her own ears.

"Angel...you OK?"

"Bullet feels like a bee sting."

"That's not what I meant—

"I know what you meant. I don't want to talk about it."

"I think you do."

"I miss her so much. I never..."

"I know. It's been over a week, and I still cry. Part of me wishes I still believed the lie."

" Well, why don't we? I mean, I'm not exactly clear on—"

"Jasmine's blood. It was on the bullet that hit you. Somehow it breaks her spell when it mingles with ours. I think it must've got in my system when I was trying to get the blood off her blouse."

"You did the right thing, Fred. It took a lot of courage. It must've been hard for you."

Fred couldn't bare it all right then. She had lost Jasmine, her false God, lost all her friends and had nearly lost her sanity, but as she stood there, back to Angel, shoulders shaking and sad sobs echoing out of her she realized then at that moment had much it had truly lost to be apart from Angel this whole time. To know deep down for the first time that Angel would kill her as soon as look at her. She had never realized the whole time what the meant for her… too her. She loved Angel.

Not that she would ever tell him that, right now it was enough to have him back. To feel him close to her, speaking kind words to her again. This was what she needed.

"I'm sorry. I've been so alone and scared. I'm not like you, not a champion."

"Everything I see says different."

Five little words that filled her up to the brim with warmness and made her want to cry all at the same time. Only Angel could do that too her. This feeling of safety and love cleared her head for the first time in days and she turned towards Angel with words of revelation in her wake.

"We need more of Jasmine's blood. We have to help the others."

"We'll never get close to her, not now."

"Then we need another way."

Fred could see a look of recognition light up Angel's face.

"What?"

"It's pretty horrible, but ma—"

Angel stopped when he heard people far off in the distance, they were coming and quick. If Fred could only buy them some more time! She had a thought then, and it was wonderful and scary and it was something she realized that she had secretly wanted to do since she had that long ago encounter with Angelus, when he had told Fred that Angel would touch himself at night to the sound of her voice.

She didn't need any more encouragement as she heard the potential soldiers for Jasmine getting closer. Fred reached for Angel and kissed him smack on the mouth, she opened up her lips to him and allowed her tongue to dart briefly across his lower lip, before plunging in and tasting him fully. For an incredibly small moment a little girl voice gushed inside of Fred and squealed

'WINIFRED BURKLE YOU ARE KISSING ANGEL! AND HE IS KISSING YOU BACK!"

Then reality came as it always does with cold harsh unforgiving sharpness and Fred pulled away because after all this was all a rouse.

"You think they bought it?"

"I did. I—I mean, I didn't hear anything."

END FLASHBACK

'He did.' Fred smiled into the darkness of her room, hands slipping slightly stroking just under her collar bone now, seeing Angel's face in the darkness of the room. Remembering the sensation of his mouth on her mouth, the way his tongue felt so cold and yet so exciting.

Fred had cherished that moment from then till now. It was precious too her. Not only had she kissed Angel, but he'd returned the kiss. Say what you will about him but Angel just didn't do anything that he didn't want to do. Fred remembered feeling his arms slip around her, and next to his mouth of her mouth it was the second best feeling in all the world.

Then when she pulled away- note 'she' pulled away, to have Angel say he not only believed the kiss but that it had distracted him enough that he hadn't heard the three beating hearts of the group that had come to kill them. It was eerily romantic considering he was a vampire. 

Fred jumped in the darkness as a knock at the door brought her out of her revive.


	2. Contemplating

Fred jumped in the darkness as the sound of knocking brought her out of her revive. She lay on her bed, back flat against the mattress and head resting upon the pillows. She was still fully dressed in her day clothes but she hoped it wasn't Angel on the other side of the door. Fred had often contemplated on just how good Angel's nose really was. For instance, if it were he standing outside her door right now then would he be able to smell her arousal from there? She wasn't sure, but she hoped that whoever was outside wasn't Angel.

"Fred, its Angel. Are you okay?"

She never did have the best luck.

"I'm-m Fahne Angel," her accent was always more pronounced when she was nervous or excited, "I'm just laying down."

There was silence on the other end of the door.

"Can I come in?"

Shoot! Fred cursed mentally, not daring to make a peep out loud less Angel actually hear her, why did he want to come in? He was going to be able to smell that she was aroused for sure. Then again, he couldn't possibly know she was thinking about him…not that it made it any less embarrassing. She ought to let him in though, she knew that much. Hadn't she been secretly dreaming of another moment alone with him ever since their alleyway kiss? Thoughts of the kiss flooded Fred's memory and she didn't need any more convincing. She got up and walked the short distance from her bed to the door, and turned the knob.

Fred could have dropped dead from embarrassment at the goofy smile that involuntarily placed itself across her face.

"Hi Angel."

They had just slaughtered their own messiah and Connor was still missing and Cordelia was in a coma unable to be woken up by any means they knew of…and yet for him she smiled.

"Hi Fred."

They stood starring at each other with Fred blocking the entrance to her room with her body. Angel finally caved and with a raise of his brow in a question he asked, "Can I come in?"

"Of course!"

"Thanks. I don't want to be alone right now. Gunn and Wes are out trying to do damage control."

Fred was alone in her room with Angel, who had just confessed to her that he didn't want to be alone. Fred was about to start hyperventilating…. She needed Pi.

"3.14159265…"

"Fred?"

Fred gasped a little bit. Why was she so nervous? This was Angel for crepes sake.

She gulped away her nervousness and looked Angel in the face.

"Angel…

She wanted to ask him about the kiss, she wanted to ask him about how he felt, was that selfish of her? In a time like this? Was it wrong for her to want to know what ideas were floating around in his head? Once upon a time he had read her thoughts right off of a wall….literally. Why was it so hard to read his?

As Angel's face studied her imploringly she chose a safer route of questioning.

"Where's Lorne?"

Angel seemed as taken aback as she was to have the question come out.

"He's checking on some connections to see if we can find Cordelia's body."

At the mention of Cordelia's name Angel's face became even more crestfallen.

He sighed, paced the length of the room before falling into one of the chairs near the bed.

"Oh Angel, we'll find her don't worry."

"What if we don't? What if she isn't even on this plain anymore? What if Jasmine hid her somewhere?"

Fred pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose as she contemplated this.

"No…no I don't think she used any portals. Portals take a lot of energy and leave…a kind of…. Residue sorta. Besides I don't think Connor would allow for Jasmine to do that."

Angel rested his hands on the arms of the chair and threw his head back against the head rest. He faced his eyes up towards the ceiling and blew air nosily out through his mouth.

"Connor."

That single word said volumes. Fred's mind wondered over to her least favorite subject, so much pain and trouble over one person. He had been so foolish, to sleep with Cordelia…. Though who didn't want to sleep with Cordelia? Hell, Angel even wanted too. Fred knew that much, he wanted her in a way he'd never want Fred. Her shoulders slumped and a glimmer of pain seated itself onto her face.

Angel seemed to pick up on this.

"Fred don't worry…we'll find them."

She forced a dollop of false cheer across her face and winged a smile.

"Right."

For a while Angel and Fred sat there just enjoying one another's company. Angel didn't feel like talking but he didn't want to face the emptiness of the silence and solitude that his own room held for him. Fred knew plenty about that- there is nothing more empty than a barren cave after all.

Fred's thoughts raced and for lack of a place to look, other than ogling Angel, Fred's eyes fell on her abandoned bed. She was so tired, so weak. She wanted to lie down and forget the whole mess of the world they lived in, she wanted Angel to scoop her up and hold her through the night and tell her everything was going to be okay. The words of another came back to whisper in her mind, they echoed there taunting her.

'I hear you at night, in your room with Gunn.'

Angelus' words; she thought about them and felt a shiver run down her spine, did Angel really touch himself to the sound of her voice? Fred didn't think for a moment that Angel was attracted to her, or wanted her, not the way he wanted Cordelia or that other girl, Willow's friend. Angel was so alone though, he never received any physical compassion or felt the touch of another. He never got to be comforted, not like that. Fred wanted so desperately to give him that, if only he would accept it from her.

Imagine someone so strong like him, being so alone and so desperate that the sounds of two other people could make you touch yourself…and knowing it was all you could ever have. Fred's heart ached for him.

Angel was lost to this world. He was swimming in a pool of his own thoughts blessedly oblivious to the world around him.

When Fred had first returned from Pylea he would go to her. He would seek her out in the late hours of the night. At first Angel would go only in the hour right before dawn, in case things became too uncomfortable he had an excuse to fall back on, that he had to leave to sleep for the day. He would hear Fred doodling on the walls, no matter what time it was, he would hear the distinct sound of market scratching against the plaster and since no one else was around the Hyperion Hotel at 5am what other choice did he have?

He would find her, and sit with her, much like he was doing now. Nothing would ever happen, sometimes they would talk and sometimes they would just sit there. Sometimes he would even lay down in her bed…for some reason Fred had a calming smell and it relaxed him. Angel attributed this mostly to their time spent together in Pylea but he was soothed by her presence.

Those were happy times…as close as he had gotten to happiness in a long while.

The ghost of a smile that had beginning to form on his face fell to the floor like an unwanted garment. What right did he have to ask for comfort? How could he come in here and ask her to sooth him again? After the terrible things he had done and said to her.

Unwanted images flooded his mind and he was helpless to stop them.

Angel remembered how he shoved the gun under her chin, after Fred had shot him…saved him again. He remembered the kiss; he remembered how he wasn't ready to pull away yet. He remembered his time as Angelus. The things he said…. The things he had wanted to do.

~~FLASHBACK~~

"If I were a Runic transcription guide, I would be... shelved wrong."

Angelus stood in the doorway watching her. God he wanted her, she was so innocent, even when the dark one would manipulate her body and she would beg for it, she still was the picture of innocence. Angelus wanted to strip her of that, make her his, maybe even change her.

"Talking to yourself, Fred? A lot of that going around."

She jumped and the smell of her fresh scent spiking, rising up into the air with fear made the hunger in Angelus deepen. He wanted to take her, to torture her. Deep inside Angelus felt the dismay of Angel wanting to get out, wanting to save his friend. It gave him all the more satisfaction to feel how much hurting this girl would hurt Angel.

"You can't hurt me. We did a no-demon-violence thingy."

"Oh, the sanctuary spell. Shucks. Oh, wait a minute. I think I" Angelus pulled out a golden charm, "Oh, yeah, kinda thought you pesky P.I.'s would be humming that old tune, so I picked up a little something'-something'... let's me be as demony as I wanna be"

"I don't believe you."

Angel remembered the satisfaction Angelus got as he slammed her up against the wall. The sheer pleasure of it, being so close to her body, feeling her against him.

"How 'bout now?"

" What do you want?"

As Angelus bore down upon her he could feel Angel squirming inside of him. He was proud of Fred in that moment. She didn't cry or whimper, girls stronger than her had succumb to Angelus after far less, and here was Fred, his Fred standing strong and facing Angelus without flinching.

"Maybe I just miss you. Well, since you brought it up, let's talk Beastmaster. Whaddaya got?"

Angelus wanted her, wanted to have just one night alone with her to shatter every pure piece of her.

"Nothing."

"Come on, Fred. All this raw material. Brainiac like you. You must have a theory."

"If I did, you're the last person I'd tell."

Such defiance! In that moment Angelus pictured the best form of torture for Fred… fire he thought. Candle wax to tease and then the actual flame, burn her and bleed her. They could go for hours, until she broke. Until she gave up any information she possessed freely and willingly. Too bad that god damned anti- violence spell was still up. He'd have to pay a little visit to the Furies.  
>"Well, all right then. I guess I'll figure it out myself, huh? Let's see. I'll take these. And this. Thanks for nothing."<p>

"I do know one thing. You're out of your league. What you're up against? He'll make you its bitch just like the Beast. So, if you're gonna kill me, get it over with."

So much more courage than any of them ever gave her credit for. Her eyes fell upon the charm.

"Made in China?"

Fred had grabbed a vase in that moment and struck it against Angelus' head. Angel had never been more proud of her…although admittedly her aim could use some work. She had chased after him and had missed him not once, but three times.

Angel recalled her chasing after him shooting Lorne instead.

"Lorne!"

The second shot he blocked with the book

"Can't beat a good book. Too bad. I was just starting to have fun.

"Why stop now?"

"Connor!"

Fred cried out as his mangled body hit the floor of the Hyperion Hotel. Angel realized his son was indeed part demon.

"Well, isn't that interesting. Nice try, Fred. You think about how close you came to stopping me when I'm slaughtering all your friends."

Angel knew she hadn't realized it at the time but he had said that because she was going to have plenty of time to think it over. To remember how close they came as he escaped, because Angelus was already planning on abducting Fred. He was already planning out in his mind how he would break her and have his way with her 100 times over.

~~END FLASHBACK~~

What right did Angel have to ask her comfort after all he had done to her?

Angel felt two distinctive eyes watching him and turned his eyes over to Fred who had a unreadable expression on her face.


	3. REvolations

C'mon guys 116 hits and no0o0o reviews? Feed me lourve!

Fred peered at him in the semi-darkness of the room. As Angel had entered the room Fred had the foresight to flick on the small bedroom lap that occupied her nightstand. She knew the light was more for her than for Angel, he could see clearly in nearly total darkness.

Fred let her eyes roam freely over the room she inhabited inside the hotel. Freshly painted white washed walls, a small bed, the chair Angel was occupying, and the tiny bits of accumulated furniture and knickknacks dotting the landscape here and there. A desk, a night stand, a few pictures of Gunn and her, a few remnants of her Pylea days. Nothing much special to see here, no sir, just a regular old room, boring if anything. For lack of a better place to stare Fred let her eyes wonder over to Angel, he looked utterly helpless.

Fred allowed herself the satisfaction of sating her hungry eyes. She gazed openly upon Angel, knowing him well enough to realize that he was completely lost in his own musings. She took in his pale skin and chiseled jaw, his high cheek bones, and the cleft in his chin. She wanted so desperately to reach out and touch him, to feel the dip in his chin with her own fingers, and to explore the texture of his skin and to run her fingertips over his brow, his cheek, his lips… Fred's thoughts trailed off and a lusty look fogged up her face.

Angel turned his eyes on her rather suddenly and the shock of his stare was enough to jolt her straight into next Tuesday.

Angel looked at Fred as though he had never actually seen her before, she was staring at him. Honest to God openly staring at him.

Fred had a look about her that screamed deer caught in headlights. Was Angel able to smell her right now? Could he tell that she was aroused and thinking about him?

'Well the fact that you're practically drooling over him while you stink up the place doesn't exactly leave much to the imagination.'

Fred shifted self-consciously in her place by the bed. Angel examined her and noticed that she was uncomfortable and spacey almost as if she had been in a completely different place just now. In all the chaos of the last few days Angel would be the first to admit to his preoccupied state…maybe Fred hadn't fared as well as he hoped in the face of the 'Jasmine' ordeal.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

If possible Fred's eyes got bigger than they already were. Any bigger and she'd bet they'd roll right out of her eye sockets like marbles in a hole.

"Talk about what?" She asked with what she would deem as just enough innocence.

"Fred you can talk to me, you know that don't you?"

Fred got up from her place at the bed; she wasn't ready for this yet. Daydreaming about this was all fine and dandy but when the moment actually came Fred found she was far from ready, really far. Like Pylea, separate dimension far. Turning her back to Angel she threw her hands out in front of her in a dismissive gesture.

"Of course I can, you're Angel, it's just that I really don't wanna talk about this," She finished the last bit of her sentence with a shake of her head before turning back towards Angel and finishing with a frown on her face, "with you I mean… it's too Awkward."

Angel tried not to show any expression on his face but he felt that he deserved all of what Fred was saying and more. He knew all too well from his experiences as Angelus that once you betrayed a person's trust it could be hard if not impossible to earn it back. Angel felt a wave of upset flicker across his face and he knew Fred saw it too. To Angel it seemed almost as if she flinched.

"Fred, I can't take back what I did."

Fred watched Angel struggle with his emotions, and watched as he carefully chose his words. What did he mean he couldn't take it back? The things he had said? The kiss? She had kissed him though… confusion nestled onto her delicate brow.

Angel continued to talk; he had to set this straight. His closest friends and family in the world were falling apart and he wasn't willing to let any more of them go without a fight. Fred might not be able to forgive him but he had to try talking to her at least. He truly cared for her… the idea of her not being able to even talk with him… the sheer idea of it caused him pain.

For her part Fred silently observed Angel's somber facial expressions and fought her own confusion to understand what was happening. Fred was an engineer type, a problem solver; she didn't like being left out of the loop. She wanted to be in the loop, she'd go as far as to say she wanted to be the looper.

"When I was Angelus…"

Fred figured this was as good a place as any to start.

"Did you mean what you said?"

Angel was taken aback by her outburst. The words had tumbled out of Fred's mouth with her frown still firmly in place and her eyebrows knitted in a confused ridge over her eyes. He couldn't really make sense of them at first and his own confusion echoed in his voice.

"Did I mean what?"

Fred took a deep breath and turned around to face the wall; with her back to him this might be easier. She fiddled nervously with her hands before starting to speak.

"As Angelus… you said things. Intimate things…"

Normally even an undead zombie would have been capable of following Fred's train of thought but Angel was just plain undead and filled with enough guilt over his actions as Angelus that he wasn't exactly thinking straight.

He looked down at the carpet, ashamed. She couldn't even look at him…

"You mean when I said I was going to make you watch all your friends die?"

He had to hand it to him Angelus had a way with words.

Fred turned around suddenly shaking her head.

"Fred, I can't take back-

"No," she shook her head, "Angel…I don't wanna say it. Earlier, in the basement….when Gunn and I brought you the blood…?"

Angel starred at her for a few seconds before realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Oh."

Fred shot him a pleading glance, she shouldn't have said anything.

"You mean about hearing you…"

"I told you I didn't wanna talk about it, and I can see you clearly DON'T wanna talk about it, so let's just forget it and I'll –

"It was true."

The words died on Fred's lips as if she had run out of air to speak them with.

"Oh."

It was pretty much all she was capable of saying in that moment and Fred punctuated her statement by folding in her limbs and collapsing gracefully on the edge of her bed.

Where was she supposed to go from here? Up until that moment Fred hadn't known what she was looking for, or what type of answer she really wanted to hear from Angel. If it were true than they had some things to discuss…like maybe she should move ut… or move to a sound proof room. She didn't want to be tempting Angel and she certainly didn't want him…doing _that_ while she and Gunn were doing…well _that. _Then again, if Angel actually had desires for her she guessed she wanted to know about them too… but not if he was only desirable towards her because his own real desires had been unattended too. Fred's eyebrows knitted into a state of near permanent confusion and she attempted to talk to Angel several times to no avail.

"Well I…I guess that we should…What I mean to say is…"

This was getting them nowhere.

She gave up and let the silence hang between them. Angel for his part didn't look nearly as disturbed as she felt. He stood now with his back leaning against the dresser, legs bent at the knees and hands in his pocket. He kept his eyes on the floor- which was an uncharacteristic Angel move, but still not enough to convince her that he was feeling as confused as she was feeling. Why was she the only confused one? Was he comfortable right now? He had told her so simply that he didn't have feelings for her… but if an equation doesn't make sense than how could it add up?

"No! This doesn't add up!"

Angel jumped slightly at her outburst turning his eyes on her.

"You've been listening to me and Charles and you've been…" she flushed, was she really about to say this?

"I can't help hearing you Fred….I never meant too-

"And the touching yourself part? That's what Angelus said, hands all under the covers, was that part-

"True."

Eyes on the floor again, well this wasn't helping at all. Fred didn't feel even a smidge better and her pulse was racing and her breath was out of whack from her emotions and damnit why was this not affecting him the same way?

"Did you like what you heard Angel?"

She would be the first to admit that she spit the words out at him like an angry accusation, and boy was she angry! Angry at him for not making this easier and angry at him for not being more disturbed by the conversation and overall pissed off at him for not having the god damned decency to blush! Or something…whatever it was Vampires did when they were embarrassed. She may not have been his precious Cordelia but she deserved a little critical acclaim here!

He didn't answer her, not really the right move.

"Did you like it? All those nights listening to us and never saying…" she took a breath to try to keep her composure, "never mentioning that maybe I should move my room, or that you could hear us."

"I didn't know what to say…"

"And what? Being pure evil made it all easy to be honest? That just doesn't make sense."

"I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't be yourself here."

"I think it's safe to say that you need some work in that area."

Fred sat on the bed again, she was out of steam…well almost out of steam.

"I need to know something and even though I don't have a whole lot of reasons to believe what you're gonna say right now I'd appreciate it if you could tell the truth."

Fred knew her southern drawl was being a pest but she just couldn't help it when she felt like this.

Angel kept his distance and chose to take this moment to sit in the chair next to her bed. He had a funny feeling in his stomach that he was going to want to be sitting down for this.

He nodded and she proceeded.

"I can't really believe you wouldn't have said anything all this time and that I actually only found out because of your evil… inner demon whatever… but I meant it when I said you were a pig."

She faced him know wielding the full weight of her judgmental stare upon him.

"I understand." …

He knew she wasn't finished yet.

"Angelus is a pig for telling me… but you're one too for not ever saying anything… but what I need to know Angel, what I need you to be honest about here is… when you heard us," she closed her eyes and breathed, "when you heard Charles and I and you heard me talking to him like I do… and you…did _that… _who were you thinking of?"

Angel didn't need to breathe but if he did her words would have knocked the wind right out of him. How was he supposed to answer that? The answer would change everything between them.

Fred waiting anxiously for his response, hands flat on her knees, palms rubbing in up and down impatiently while she waited for his response.

Angel was her best friend, he had saved her from Pylea… but if he told her right now that he had sat in his room…and listened to her, god it made her sick! But if he told her that why he heard her voice he had used it to visualize…Cordelia or that girl with the goofy name… than she knew he had used her and thrown her away, and violated her! How could you forgive someone for that?

Angel swallowed and the audible gulp that ensured echoed in the silence of the room.

"Fred… I don't think you're going to like the answer."

And despite herself little unshed tears formed inside of Fred's eyes as she starred at the person she once called friend.

"Tell me Angel."

Her voiced waivered then but she needed to hear him say it. She had to face this.

Angel starred straight into her eyes, and without blinking he sat up and little straighter and squared his shoulders, as if readying himself for a blow.

"I thought of you…touching me."

And the world crashed down around Winifred Burkle.


End file.
